If these products were people, I'd embrace their genocide
These are a collection of products that really piss me off.
1. Play Station 2.
Earlier 2002, my dad promised me he’d buy me a PS2 if I could make it to SMAN 1 (that being the bestest, fightingest crack regiment in the whole island) PS2 was kind of a novelty for us kids back then so I study hard. No. What I really did was I cheated on all my year 9 exams.
I made it to SMAN 1 and claimed my prize. I remember marching to Spica Club looking as happy as Christmas. Even better, the retail owner offered me 25 complimentary game CDs of my choice. But when i got home none of the 25 CDs were playable because apparently Sony had this shitty optical drive which couldn't read the game CDs. What's worse is that I had to pay another 200k to fix the misaligned laser optic.
I'm still bitter over that. The other night I went to Northern Terrace and there were these kids talking and giggling and thinking about how awesome it was to pre-order PS3. Well, they didn't think it was a cute idea anymore after I chased them with a shovel.
2. Akira DVD Player
About one week before moving to Adelaide, I went for a shopping spree at Hypermart. I wasn’t really planning on getting a DVD player but I saw this player which cost only 300k. That was too much of a temptation. So I bought it and had a 3 hour Simpson’s marathon.The next day, I was going to watch another episode of Veronica Mars but I got a message which says "NO DISC." No disc my ass! I just put one myself. Who is this asshole to think he is smarter than me? But that was it. I kept getting the same "NO DISC" message on my TV screen. I guessed it had a similar problem with my PS2 – optical error.
So I went to the service center with the intention to wreck the place into pieces. But just as I was waiting for the customer service girl to finish her phone conversation, a Chinese man came up to me (he was a costumer too) and said, "kenapa bang? No Disc juga ya?"Holy crap, so it wasn’t just me.
It’s a very relieving thought but I still wanted to wreck whoever it was behind Akira’s production system. Luckily, the customer service lady said I’d get a free warranty for this one.
3. War of The Worlds.
Okay, so Tom Cruise is Satan. I should’ve known. But apparently I was too naïve to realize this back in 2005. I saw this movie trailer about WoTW and there were all these favorite things of mine: aliens, explosion, Humvees, Abrams tanks, rocket launcher, exploding aliens,etc…But when I finally saw it…man, that was just the gayest 25k I ever spent in my entire life. It was Tom running around the house with his cry-bitchy baby girl. And there wasn’t any cohesion in the movie either. How is it that the THX trailer had more sense than the movie?
4. Religious sinetron with voice-overs and poorly produced animated snakes.
You know those crap they have in Indosiar? Words just can’t explain my contempt for this genre.
5. 0% Beer.
Let beer be beer. First there was Ice beer. Then "Dry" beer. Then Low-Carb beer. Now there’s a new one: zero percent alcohol beer. If you don’t have the balls to take some alcohol, then go drink orange juice. But please, don’t repack your garbage and call it "beer."It’s very simple. If it’s got alcohol, call it beer. If it doesn’t, don’t! If my mother’s sibling has tits, call her "auntie" I can’t believe I have to be this graphic.
6. Indonesian Idol.
The next person who says Dirly is talented will get my sledgehammer in their testicles.
7. Ouval T-shirts.
I never had anything against people from west Java but this brand changed my mind.
8. James Morrison debut CD.
I was talking to my sister about two weeks ago and she kept saying, "check out James Morrison new CD. He’s good looking and he plays the guitar too…" blahblahyaddayaddawalalala…all those jibberish you’d expect to hear from your teenage sister.
But then John Mayer endorsed Morrison on his website. John said Morrison’s CD could be one of this years’ best. Normally I got my music freely from Kaskus but since Mayer endorse him, I thought it was good. And I don’t steal good music. So I went and bought the actual CD. But when I finally gave it a listen, it was like listening to Jack Johnson a couple of years ago. All the songs sound trashy and similar and some 45 minutes later, I was like "It’s song # 9 already? What the fuck! I can’t tell any difference."
I just wanted a good music not an eternal damnation in hell. Is it too much of a request?
9. D’Addario strings.
Here’s a reason to love your mom. So my mom bought me these guitar strings for my 17th birthday. I don’t know how my mom knew about these strings. I was too overjoyed to ask. But I was just halfway through my favorite song when I got two string breaks. Fuck!
What I really hate is the fact the branded corporation can actually sell these shitty products. I wouldn’t mind if a Chinese scooter break. Hell, that’s Chinese, what did I expect. But I’m talking about Hollywood, Sony and all those corporate giants. If you can’t trust them, who else is left to be trust?
2,286,952 shitty products were excluded from this list in the interest of stabilizing my blood pressure.
1. Play Station 2.
Earlier 2002, my dad promised me he’d buy me a PS2 if I could make it to SMAN 1 (that being the bestest, fightingest crack regiment in the whole island) PS2 was kind of a novelty for us kids back then so I study hard. No. What I really did was I cheated on all my year 9 exams.
I made it to SMAN 1 and claimed my prize. I remember marching to Spica Club looking as happy as Christmas. Even better, the retail owner offered me 25 complimentary game CDs of my choice. But when i got home none of the 25 CDs were playable because apparently Sony had this shitty optical drive which couldn't read the game CDs. What's worse is that I had to pay another 200k to fix the misaligned laser optic.
I'm still bitter over that. The other night I went to Northern Terrace and there were these kids talking and giggling and thinking about how awesome it was to pre-order PS3. Well, they didn't think it was a cute idea anymore after I chased them with a shovel.
2. Akira DVD Player
About one week before moving to Adelaide, I went for a shopping spree at Hypermart. I wasn’t really planning on getting a DVD player but I saw this player which cost only 300k. That was too much of a temptation. So I bought it and had a 3 hour Simpson’s marathon.The next day, I was going to watch another episode of Veronica Mars but I got a message which says "NO DISC." No disc my ass! I just put one myself. Who is this asshole to think he is smarter than me? But that was it. I kept getting the same "NO DISC" message on my TV screen. I guessed it had a similar problem with my PS2 – optical error.
So I went to the service center with the intention to wreck the place into pieces. But just as I was waiting for the customer service girl to finish her phone conversation, a Chinese man came up to me (he was a costumer too) and said, "kenapa bang? No Disc juga ya?"Holy crap, so it wasn’t just me.
It’s a very relieving thought but I still wanted to wreck whoever it was behind Akira’s production system. Luckily, the customer service lady said I’d get a free warranty for this one.
3. War of The Worlds.
Okay, so Tom Cruise is Satan. I should’ve known. But apparently I was too naïve to realize this back in 2005. I saw this movie trailer about WoTW and there were all these favorite things of mine: aliens, explosion, Humvees, Abrams tanks, rocket launcher, exploding aliens,etc…But when I finally saw it…man, that was just the gayest 25k I ever spent in my entire life. It was Tom running around the house with his cry-bitchy baby girl. And there wasn’t any cohesion in the movie either. How is it that the THX trailer had more sense than the movie?
4. Religious sinetron with voice-overs and poorly produced animated snakes.
You know those crap they have in Indosiar? Words just can’t explain my contempt for this genre.
5. 0% Beer.
Let beer be beer. First there was Ice beer. Then "Dry" beer. Then Low-Carb beer. Now there’s a new one: zero percent alcohol beer. If you don’t have the balls to take some alcohol, then go drink orange juice. But please, don’t repack your garbage and call it "beer."It’s very simple. If it’s got alcohol, call it beer. If it doesn’t, don’t! If my mother’s sibling has tits, call her "auntie" I can’t believe I have to be this graphic.
6. Indonesian Idol.
The next person who says Dirly is talented will get my sledgehammer in their testicles.
7. Ouval T-shirts.
I never had anything against people from west Java but this brand changed my mind.
8. James Morrison debut CD.
I was talking to my sister about two weeks ago and she kept saying, "check out James Morrison new CD. He’s good looking and he plays the guitar too…" blahblahyaddayaddawalalala…all those jibberish you’d expect to hear from your teenage sister.
But then John Mayer endorsed Morrison on his website. John said Morrison’s CD could be one of this years’ best. Normally I got my music freely from Kaskus but since Mayer endorse him, I thought it was good. And I don’t steal good music. So I went and bought the actual CD. But when I finally gave it a listen, it was like listening to Jack Johnson a couple of years ago. All the songs sound trashy and similar and some 45 minutes later, I was like "It’s song # 9 already? What the fuck! I can’t tell any difference."
I just wanted a good music not an eternal damnation in hell. Is it too much of a request?
9. D’Addario strings.
Here’s a reason to love your mom. So my mom bought me these guitar strings for my 17th birthday. I don’t know how my mom knew about these strings. I was too overjoyed to ask. But I was just halfway through my favorite song when I got two string breaks. Fuck!
What I really hate is the fact the branded corporation can actually sell these shitty products. I wouldn’t mind if a Chinese scooter break. Hell, that’s Chinese, what did I expect. But I’m talking about Hollywood, Sony and all those corporate giants. If you can’t trust them, who else is left to be trust?
2,286,952 shitty products were excluded from this list in the interest of stabilizing my blood pressure.
wait. have you mention that somehow our cellphone is a piece of crap too?
btw, how are u? its been long time since the last i read your postings.
Posted by
nitya |
12:02 PM
wait. have you mention that somehow our cellphone is a piece of crap too?
btw, how are u? its been long time since the last i read your postings.
Posted by
nitya |
12:02 PM
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